1
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Til Death

2
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Sync:YTET-chiakid

3
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Season 1 Episode 14

4
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I love faculty pasta.

5
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I'm going back in.

6
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Are you kidding?

7
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You've had 9 plates of spaghetti.

8
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How can you not be full?

9
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,760
Oh, I emptied her out 20 minutes ago.

10
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Hello there.

11
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Oh, hello,father woodcocK.

12
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Are you here to bless the buffet?

13
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It's called a mock turtleneck, eddie,

14
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and they happen to be making a comeback.

15
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Maybe you should wait
until they're all the way back.

16
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Hey, hey. Have, uh,

17
00:00:43,150 --> 00:00:45,400
have you met lucy, the new history teacher?

18
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You know, I heard she was
on the squash team at penn.

19
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I think I'm gonna try to get a game with her.

20
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:50,550
Right. Well, you know what?

21
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,550
You're not gonna want to do that.

22
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Why not?

23
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Because you're married now, opie.

24
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And once you're married,

25
00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:56,900
the only female friends you can have

26
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,900
are the ones that are grandfathered in,

27
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and even they better be really, really ugly.

28
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Eddie, steph and i happen to trust each other.

29
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The last thing
that would threaten either one of us--

30
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is steph talking to the quarterback?

31
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Will you hold my plate?

32
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Salad.

33
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That's not gonna silence the rumors.

34
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Hi, sweetie.

35
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Hey, mr. Woodcock.

36
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Oh, is steph your wife?

37
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Yes, brian.

38
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Mrs. Woodcock is my wife.

39
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Just step off, hotshot.

40
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What was that about?

41
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That kid is a nightmare, steph.

42
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The other day I told him
he couldn't wear sunglasses in class,

43
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he cut my phone line off

44
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and glued my office door shut.

45
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I was trapped in there for 5 periods.

46
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Again, I'm sorry I thought
all your friends' e-mails were a gag.

47
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Excuse me.

48
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You're eddie, right?

49
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I'm lucy. I just joined your department.

50
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Oh. Hi. Welcome. Great.

51
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See you in the hallway.

52
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I have heard so much about you.

53
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Everybody loves your class.

54
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Oh, and here's my wife right now.

55
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Speak of the devil.

56
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-I'm joy.
-Lucy.

57
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-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

58
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Anyway,I'm so new to all this,

59
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I'd love to get together

60
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and just pick your brain about my syllabus.

61
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Would it be ok if I gave you my number?

62
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Did you hear about my wife?

63
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Yes.

64
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-Hi.
-Hi. Hi again.

65
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You know,I don't have a pen.

66
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Me neither.

67
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I have one.

68
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I can't believe you brought that spaghetti home.

69
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Oh, come on.

70
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There was plenty left over for the shelter.

71
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All right, we gotta make some room in here.

72
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Are you still keeping
his low-fat yogurt dream alive?

73
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Yes, eddie, I am.

74
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Ok, well, something's gotta go.

75
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Uh, uh, I'm looking at 20 pictures
of paul newman here.

76
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Why are you and i
both so afraid to finish jelly?

77
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What are you doing?

78
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I'm throwing away lucy's number.

79
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Why?

80
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Because I've been in this marriage
long enough to know

81
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that me dating another woman
while I'm still married to you

82
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is probably a bad idea.

83
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She is your colleague.

84
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Yeah, a colleague with lady parts.

85
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You think she's trying to date you?

86
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Get over yourself.

87
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She doesn't want you.

88
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And even if she did,

89
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you wouldn't do anything.

90
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And even if you wanted to do something,

91
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you wouldn't know what to do.

92
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Trust me, I'd know what to do.

93
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Do you even know

94
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what's involved in having an affair?

95
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Everything that you're against.

96
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Floral delivery,

97
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candlelit restaurants,

98
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rendezvous in seedy motels.

99
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What are you gonna do,germ guy,

100
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bring your own bedspread?

101
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Ok, so what are you saying,

102
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it's ok to hang out with another woman?

103
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Yes.

104
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Oh--come on, are you kidding?

105
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You would be so jealous.

106
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Maybe you haven't noticed, but we--

107
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we don't feel jealousy anymore.

108
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We're dead inside.

109
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What?

110
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,300
RelaX. In a good way.

111
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,150
We're finally in a place in our relationship

112
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where we're totally secure

113
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because we both understand
the other one has no other options.

114
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No, no, no, I think we still get jealous.

115
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Oh, come on.

116
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I am the one who suggests we go to hooters

117
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'cause I like the buffalo wings.

118
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And I don't get mad

119
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when you tip 40%.

120
00:04:32,070 --> 00:04:33,500
Well, I still get jealous.

121
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,200
Really? What did you say to our gardener

122
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,400
when you caught him
peeking in the widow at me in the shower?

123
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:38,900
I said,

124
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"while you're there,

125
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you might want to prune the rhododendrons."

126
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Oh, my god,

127
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we are dead inside.

128
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Give the lady a call.

129
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You want me to call her.

130
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I do.

131
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And this isn't gonna come back
and bite me in the ass?

132
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,800
No, that part of our relationship is dead also.

133
00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:13,280
Hey.

134
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,250
Wayne, brian, sebastian.

135
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:17,800
Uh...hey, guys, you know, uh,

136
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,700
I, uh, love the smell of sweet cherry hickory
as much as the next guy,

137
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:23,800
but you cannot smoke a pipe in high school.

138
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,560
The thing is, my grandfather was an indian chief.

139
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My people have lost everything.

140
00:05:29,350 --> 00:05:32,400
You want to take this aw from me, too?

141
00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:33,400
Look, guys,

142
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,700
I'm just trying to do my job here.

143
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:35,650
Please, can you give me a break?

144
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:37,450
Hey. Put the pipe out.

145
00:05:37,450 --> 00:05:38,400
Ok.

146
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,160
Sorry, mr. WoodcocK.

147
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Really?

148
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-Well...thanks, guys.
-No problem.

149
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:45,100
Hey, and by the way,

150
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:47,040
how's mrs. Woodcock?

151
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,300
She's good.

152
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,800
Oh, no, she's better than good.

153
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,700
She's a hottie.

154
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,910
Nice job with that.

155
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:10,500
Eddie, your date's here!

156
00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:16,800
Oh, look, you tucked in for her.

157
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,850
-Hi, lucy.
-Hi.

158
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:23,550
-How are you?
-Come on in.

159
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,450
Hello. Welcome.

160
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:27,000
Thank you so much for having me over.

161
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,600
Why don't you two go in there

162
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:29,900
and start your learning thing

163
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:31,700
and maybe I'll fix you a snack.

164
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:35,300
Ha ha ha. Fantastic.

165
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:37,650
Please, sit down.

166
00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:38,550
Thank you.

167
00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:40,150
Now, for american history,

168
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I made a copy of my syllabus.

169
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:48,130
So all of january is musket month?

170
00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:50,600
That's correct.

171
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,400
I know I spent a lot of time on warfare, but...

172
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,010
peace is kind of boring, don't you think?

173
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,700
No. I-I-it's good.

174
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,260
I mean, the lessons of history

175
00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:03,200
are written by the wounded, not the dead, right?

176
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,200
Oh, my god, that's from marshall duffy's book,

177
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,900
a historical take on history.

178
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:08,050
You know that book?

179
00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:09,500
What, are you kidding?

180
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,960
He is my favorite author.

181
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,100
I love him.

182
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,350
Me, too. You know,

183
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,700
so many people think his book is boring.

184
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,400
I think his writing is phenomenal.

185
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,430
Well, if you like his writing,

186
00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:22,050
tell me what you think of his handwriting

187
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:24,140
in this personal inscription

188
00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:25,300
made out to me!

189
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,370
No way!

190
00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:29,200
"Keep making history."

191
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,000
Eddie, this is awesome.

192
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:32,950
Yeah. I kept the pen.

193
00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:34,800
It's a bic.

194
00:07:35,450 --> 00:07:36,050
I mean, you know,

195
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:39,000
he's speaking at that bookstor
by school on saturday.

196
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:39,700
Are you going?

197
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:40,460
Well, I better be.

198
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,290
I'm moderating the q and A.

199
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,800
My god, you-- you're my hero.

200
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,500
No, no, no. Duffy's the hero.

201
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,500
How about that chapter

202
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,360
he wrote on the teapot dome scandal?

203
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,000
I know.

204
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,100
He totally turns it on its head.

205
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:57,800
Yeah, finally somebody
has warren G. Harding's back, right?

206
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:58,850
We were out of cookies,

207
00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:01,900
so i defrosted some guacamole.

208
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:02,900
You know, I'm just really glad

209
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,750
that someone is finally reminding us

210
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,000
that it's albert fall

211
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,200
who took that bribe.

212
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:07,750
Thank you.

213
00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:10,000
And that son of a bitch harry sinclair

214
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000
and how he tampered with that jury.

215
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:12,800
I stuck my tongue in it.

216
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:13,740
I hope that's ok.

217
00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:15,600
Oh, yeah...

218
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,500
that's sweet, honey.

219
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:19,550
This chapter on the, uh...

220
00:08:19,550 --> 00:08:20,360
oh, don't tell me.

221
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:20,900
Don't tell me.

222
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,400
The tennessee valley authority.

223
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,400
Oh, he nailed that.

224
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,800
Yes! Yes!

225
00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:33,400
Anybody need a cigarette?

226
00:08:39,650 --> 00:08:41,300
Honey, when you asked me out for lunch,

227
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:43,900
I kind of thought we were going someplace nice.

228
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,900
The cafeteria's not nice?

229
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:49,170
Excuse me. We just recarpeted this pole.

230
00:08:49,170 --> 00:08:49,750
Besides, you know,

231
00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:52,000
you get a chance to see me do my thing,

232
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,000
meet some people.

233
00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:56,900
H-hey! Scott! Rahim,

234
00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:59,600
it's the wifeski.

235
00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:03,400
Not too shabby, huh?

236
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:06,160
Hey. You want to go sit by the window?

237
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,490
Hey, mr. Woodcock.

238
00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:10,400
Hey, let's sit next to brian.

239
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,700
Wait. Isn't he the guy
who glued you into your office?

240
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,850
Yeah. Yeah. He's crazy.

241
00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:16,900
He's awesome.

242
00:09:23,950 --> 00:09:25,000
Wh you watchin'?

243
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000
Dog show.

244
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,300
The terriers are up.

245
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,650
Little legs, big hearts.

246
00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:35,240
You know, our couch is an L.

247
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,300
You have a whole other wing over there.

248
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,000
I want to be close to you.

249
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,500
Ok. I believe I have a pit open.

250
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:49,400
If she's going to be running with that dog,

251
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,800
she might want to get a better bra.

252
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:54,800
Yeah. I bet those things
weigh more than her beagle.

253
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,800
Hello.

254
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:03,900
Hi.

255
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:05,700
Yeah, he's here. Hold on.

256
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,900
Lucy.

257
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:07,600
Oh, really?

258
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:08,250
She probably wants to know

259
00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,250
when the book q and a starts tomorrow.

260
00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:11,600
Oh, she's--she's going to that?

261
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:12,350
Of course she is.

262
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:15,200
It's her favorite book.

263
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,900
Go for eddie.

264
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,700
Really?

265
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:20,250
Right now?

266
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,300
What right now?

267
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,250
-What channel?
-What is it?

268
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:25,000
The history channel is re-enacting

269
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,450
the entire iran-contra scandal.

270
00:10:27,450 --> 00:10:30,700
But the doberman's about to mount the chihuahua.

271
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:33,000
Remind you of anything?

272
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:34,900
OK

273
00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:38,400
Oh, gosh, this is gonna be
the 17 bt hours of television ever.

274
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,250
You don't mind, do you, honey?

275
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,800
No, no, you... enjoy.

276
00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:46,100
Oh, who's that playing ronald reagan?

277
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,300
Oh, they got john larroquette.

278
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:59,050
that looks just like the oval office.

279
00:10:59,050 --> 00:10:59,900
No, no, never been,

280
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:04,000
but I've seen american president 9 times.

281
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,500
jellybeans on the desk.

282
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:09,100
Nice touch.

283
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:12,400
Put down your cosmo

284
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,100
and shave your legs.

285
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,000
We're going out.

286
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,400
Really? Where are we going?

287
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,650
Parking lot behind the water tower.

288
00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:19,360
What?

289
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:23,220
Yeah. I'm gonna need you
to wear something special, too. Ooh.

290
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:24,900
This is nice.

291
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,500
I'm not wearing a camisole.

292
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,400
It's 10 degrees out.

293
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,750
All right, uh...

294
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:33,250
oh, how about this nice warm sweater

295
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:35,250
with some kitten tights, huh?

296
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:36,500
Ok, brian's got a curfew.

297
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,900
Chop-chop, we gotta move.

298
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:38,600
Brian?

299
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,000
Jeff, this is insane.

300
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,750
We're not gonna go out
with a bunch of high school kids.

301
00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:44,480
Why are you doing this?

302
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,500
Look, honey...

303
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:47,100
honey, look.

304
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:50,700
I know this may come as a shock to you,

305
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,500
but I was not that popular in high school.

306
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,300
I mean, sure, everyone
in the magic club loved me,

307
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,750
but...outside of that world

308
00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:01,300
it was a very lonely place.

309
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,800
I don't know how the hell I landed you, but...

310
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,200
when I brought you in the other day,

311
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,000
it was like it gave me this street cred

312
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,300
that I've never had before,

313
00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:12,500
and...I was able to become everything
I never was in high school.

314
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:16,300
Honey, don't worry so much about being cool.

315
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:18,080
I've been with cool guys.

316
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,100
A lot of cool guys.

317
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:22,300
Like, 15 of them.

318
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,300
This one guy dave,

319
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:24,350
he was a navy S.E.A.L.

320
00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:26,000
You could drop him out of a helicopter

321
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,300
like, anywhere in the world

322
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,900
and he could survive.

323
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:33,600
He was really, really cool.

324
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,000
But I never loved any of them

325
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,300
the way I love a nice nerdy guy like you.

326
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,300
Really?

327
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:43,850
Yeah. Let's stay home and be all nerdy together.

328
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:47,000
You want to show me a magic trick?

329
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,700
Ok.

330
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:50,200
Don't move.

331
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,200
I gotta find my false thumb.

332
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,600
I'll be here.

333
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,000
Good afternoon every--

334
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,350
ok, that isn't gonna...

335
00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:09,500
that isn't-- that isn't necessary.

336
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,200
Um...I--I guess we'll go unplugged,

337
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,600
as the, uh, young people say. Uh...

338
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:16,300
today.

339
00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:19,550
Anyway, it is a, um, a great honor

340
00:14:19,550 --> 00:14:25,450
to introduce the author
of one of the most influential books of our time,

341
00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:29,500
the incomparable professor marshall duffy.

342
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:37,900
It's great to be here.

343
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:39,150
Oh, yes, young lady?

344
00:14:39,150 --> 00:14:41,900
I had a question about your chapter on crops.

345
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:46,650
If indigo had been
as stable a commodity as rice or cotton,

346
00:14:46,650 --> 00:14:49,200
what effect would that have had
on the formation

347
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,100
of the south carolina aristocracy?

348
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,480
Wow. This crowd is throwin' some heat.

349
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,660
That is a brilliant question.

350
00:14:57,660 --> 00:15:02,500
Well, I never really considered that hypothetical.

351
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:06,100
You just gave me the idea for my next book.

352
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:10,800
Next question.

353
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,550
Uh, young lady in the back.

354
00:15:12,550 --> 00:15:13,440
Joy?

355
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,230
Hi. Professor duffy,

356
00:15:16,230 --> 00:15:17,850
amazing book.

357
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,100
Read all of it.

358
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,400
Anyway...

359
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,050
on, uh, on page 1 of your book,

360
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:27,400
you... you said that...

361
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,700
"american history is always evolving."

362
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:34,300
And then, um, quite a bit further...

363
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,860
on page 1...

364
00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:41,050
you said that the constitution is a constant.

365
00:15:41,050 --> 00:15:43,700
How do you reconcile those ideas?

366
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:48,900
Well...I think on page 2...

367
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,300
I explain that

368
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:59,200
that was the paradox of american history.

369
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:04,700
And then is spent
the next 1,000 or so pages exploring it.

370
00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:08,600
And explore it you did.

371
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:14,300
I for one want to thank you
for taking me on that journey.

372
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,700
Oh, I--actually,I have a follow-up question.

373
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:22,750
Uh, and this one is really,
uh, more about your process.

374
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:29,250
do you--do you write at home,
or, like, at starbucks?

375
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:31,700
I'll take my answer sitting down.

376
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,340
The university is kind enough

377
00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:38,100
to lend me an office.

378
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:42,000
In a building that's named after me.

379
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:53,000
Ok, and we are back.

380
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,200
I think, uh, lucy has another question.

381
00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,030
YeS. You claim
that eurasia's latitudinal geography

382
00:17:00,030 --> 00:17:02,850
accounts for their greater population density.

383
00:17:02,850 --> 00:17:05,750
That's really more of a statement
than a question.

384
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,500
My question is,

385
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:11,800
weren't cultural and social differences
also a factor?

386
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,100
I--I was gonna ask that question.

387
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:18,700
I--I have it right here. Professor duffy, look.

388
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,280
Excellent question.

389
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,400
But I would contend

390
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,900
that social and cultural differences

391
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:30,500
are ultimately a product of... geography.

392
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,280
It's time to bring out the big guns.

393
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:38,700
Professor duffy... I have another question.

394
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:41,500
Oh, dear god.

395
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:46,550
I noticed that your book was copyrighted in 2002,

396
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:50,050
2003, and 2005.

397
00:17:50,050 --> 00:17:53,200
What went wrong in '04?

398
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,700
Ok, I think that's enough of the questions.

399
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,300
Uh, this might be a great time--

400
00:17:58,300 --> 00:17:59,100
who would like to hear

401
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:04,000
professor duffy read from the chapter
on the homestead act?

402
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:05,700
Ok.

403
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:09,500
Excuse me, may I see you
in music, art, and dance, please?

404
00:18:11,370 --> 00:18:12,270
What?

405
00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:13,050
Are you out of your mind?

406
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,050
What are you doing?

407
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:16,100
I came here to hear

408
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:19,850
marshall duffy speak
about my new favorite book.

409
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:21,000
Oh, really?

410
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,050
What's it called?

411
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:27,350
Big boring book.

412
00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:28,150
And maybe you can tell me

413
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:32,200
why you're showing your melons
like we're at a farmer's market.

414
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,100
Oh. So you noticed.

415
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:37,600
I'm surprised you could take your eyes
off of your girlfriend.

416
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:38,150
What?

417
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:39,200
Oh, do you like that book?

418
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,500
I love that book. I love that book.

419
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,200
Oh, now, wait a minute.

420
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,950
You're mad at me?

421
00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:49,500
Yes, i'm mad at you.

422
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:50,540
About lucy?

423
00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:51,760
You're the one who made me call her.

424
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,100
You're the one who gave her the pen.

425
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,650
You're the one who said
it wouldn't bite me in the ass,

426
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:58,600
and now I'm missing a big old hairy chunk!

427
00:18:59,650 --> 00:19:01,300
I'm sorry.

428
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,400
I'm jealous, ok?

429
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,600
There, I said it. I'm jealous.

430
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,100
Wh--jealous of what?

431
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,900
Joy, we're not even doing anything here?

432
00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:11,400
It's not about that stuff, eddie.

433
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,750
It's about the way that your eyes light up

434
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:16,500
when you talk about history with her.

435
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:21,200
We never connected over... intellectual stuff.

436
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,400
We mostly just bonded over these.

437
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,440
Well, what's wrong about bonding over those?

438
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,550
I love bonding over those.

439
00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:29,300
As a matter of fact,

440
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:30,470
when you were asleep last night,

441
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,900
I bonded over those.

442
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,220
But are these enough?

443
00:19:35,220 --> 00:19:36,700
I mean, what about these?

444
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:38,250
Well--look.

445
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:40,100
Joy, I love what's in your sweater,

446
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,670
and I love what's up here.

447
00:19:41,670 --> 00:19:44,760
And I love when we do...this.

448
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,200
I didn't know you were interested.

449
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,400
You want to bond over the book,

450
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,200
we can bond over the book.

451
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,580
No, I don't want to bond over the book.

452
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:53,200
I hate the stupid book.

453
00:19:57,350 --> 00:19:58,500
Not your book.

454
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,000
Not--no, it's-- it's a--

455
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000
this book right here.

456
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:05,700
Charles... charles dickens sucks.

457
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,150
Where does this leave us, huh?

458
00:20:11,150 --> 00:20:12,750
Well, I guess we're not dead inside.

459
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,050
Well, I guess we're not.

460
00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:17,050
That's a good thing, right?

461
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,950
Yeah, that's a good thing.

462
00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:21,270
So what do you want me to do?

463
00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:24,550
I say you toss that history hussy's
phone number away,

464
00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:25,800
and let's go home

465
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:30,000
and bond over these while I'm still awake.

466
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,900
All right.

467
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,550
Hey, hey, hey, wait.

468
00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:38,050
Could we just wait until he's done
with the homestead act chapter?

469
00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:41,500
This part kind of gets me a little fired up.

470
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:47,600
This is the part.

471
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:48,250
W-wait, wait.

472
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,160
Hello.

473
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,350
Ok. Honey, slow down.

474
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:01,800
Just tell me what happened.

475
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,570
You're glued into your office again?

476
00:21:05,570 --> 00:21:06,450
Oh, my god.

477
00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:09,150
Did you do magic for the guys?

478
00:21:09,150 --> 00:21:11,400
I begged you not to do that.

479
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,750
Tell me you didn't wear your cape.

480
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:16,580
I'm sorry--cloak.

481
00:21:16,580 --> 00:21:19,070
You wore it to the cafeteria?

482
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,300
Ok. Babe, ok.

483
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:21,050
Don't freak out.

484
00:21:21,050 --> 00:21:21,800
If you freak out,

485
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,500
the rabbit will freak out.

486
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:25,300
I'll be right there.


